Friday, March 13, 2009

what's the big deal about nucci? tips at the end for dudes

i'm wandering through my sxsw list last night and i come across this band that i know but i can't remember where from. i look them up. i see the names of the band members. i see the name brian cantrell and i instantly wet myself. it's nucci! nucci is coming to MY town! i hopped around my apartment for 30 minutes. i couldn't grind the silly grin off my face with a diamond-grade sander if i wanted to. i still can't.
being the cerebral-centric person that i am, i took to wondering why i am so giddy about nucci coming to town. this is a man that i have had several encounters with but, to put it bluntly, we've spoken maybe 50 words to each other in the entire time i've known him - and that's not an exaggeration. our "connection" (if you can call it that) is purely physical and instinctual. as i thought, i realized that it really goes back to our very first meeting. let me set the stage for you:

san diego music awards at humphrey's by the bay, some random year - i can't remember. i'm up in a suite with troy and flan and flan's wife and a whole mess of other people. i'm pretty sure java joe is there too. i have 3 swigs (2 swigs too many) of flan's moonshine out of a mason jar and i'm feelin' GOOD. in comes this guy, maybe as tall as i am, with this too-straight, too-long-for-his-face hair, a teeny bit of facial hair and shoulders like a linebacker. he says hi to people as he's coming in the door and he's talking to someone when he sees me across the room. his eyes catch mine and instantly we both perk up. he finishes talking to these people and looks at me and starts doing this weird thing with his hands by his face (i later find out it's his "praying mantis") and i'm DYING with giggles. he then bolts across the room, throws me on the bed and buries his face in my neck and gives it a little nip. then he gets up and goes about his business with everyone else, keeping his eye on me the whole rest of the time. i ask troy what the hell just happened and he said "oh, that's nucci". this man's teeth knew the softness of my neck flesh before his ears knew the sound of my voice. i couldn't think of anything more fun at the time. i still can't.
after that, i'd see him at random other places and the praying mantis and the giggles would ensue. we ended up making out at the new old java joe's at some point as well but that was about it.

in that first meeting, without saying a word, he gave me something that i hadn't felt before and haven't felt since: he made me feel like that beautiful girl in the room that you can't take your eyes off of. that was a really foreign feeling to me and it still is.
he makes me feel girly and pretty and feminine in an animalistic way. in a simple way. i'm not saying i've not felt girly and pretty and feminine since then, but i certainly haven't felt like the person in the room that someone can't take their eyes off of since then.
dudes out there, girls are easy really. if you want the key to the heart/cunt of 99.99999% of women out there this is what you do: pay attention to them, make them feel wanted and pretty and girly when you're in clothes and in public. if you can do that, you'll have a piece of their heart forever. if you can do that along with making them feel like a whore in bed (in the good way) you'll have even more of their heart for your bidding. i leave that 0.00001% out for the stoic and asexual women out there. *grin*

i'm not expecting a first meeting feeling from nucci again, but it'll be really nice to feel those linebacker shoulders giving me a bear hug for the first time in about 4 years.

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