Monday, March 2, 2009

i'm really over this listlessness

seriously. for the past 2 weeks, if not longer, i've been at about 60% in everyway and i'm tired of it. i don't know what to do with myself. i don't know what not to do with myself. it's like pulling teeth to keep even the littlest things in my routine. things that i love to do and that make me feel great after doing them. i've never been this way for this long (except when i went on that medication, but there were other factors involved). i just want to stay in bed all day and drink lattes and eat sandwiches that someone else makes me and cookies and crackers. my ears don't want to listen to anyone but josh ritter. now, josh ritter's not so bad, and i don't even get tired of him after the constant barrage i assault my ears with, but ITS TOO MUCH with his chipmunk face and slightly nasal-y vocals and rad lyrics. and it's my physical being that wants this, not my emotional. my brain is sitting here looking at me saying, "you're depressed", but i'm not! i could effectively argue that my body is depressed, but my mind and that tiny black thing others like to call a heart are peachy keen. i've got a lot of excitement coming up on my ass! starting tomorrow even!

i don't know what kind of a kick in the butt i need, but i need it soon. i refuse to be like this over sxsw - if i am, i'm guaranteed to get big sick which is never a good thing. and i want to be 100%, maybe even 110%, when i see all my folks, you know? it takes a lot of energy to be that excited and happy and i know i have the capacity, but i can't muster the wherewithal right now and that is NOT a good thing.

suggestions? a lady at work is convinced that my immune system is depressed due to cedar fever and that i need to strengthen my immune system. how do i do that, yo?

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