Saturday, October 23, 2010

i love tom waits (but not only for the reasons you may think)

i LOVE tom waits. he fills my geeky heart to beyond full for several reasons.
yes, he's an incredible and unique artist and musician in his own right, making use of the tools at his disposal, whether they're "acceptable" to others (the mainstream) or not.
yes, he writes awesomely rad songs and has a wonderful vision of music that he manages to convey in the most unexpected ways.

but today, i love tom waits because he too, is a music geek. and now i feel like i can relate on a completely different level.
tom waits is one of MAYBE a handful of musicians who would be able to say "i don't go see live music. why should i?" or "i don't like live shows or listening to other musicians - it distracts my 'vision' and songwriting ability" and have those sentiments not distract from the value of my listening experience.

i do not understand musicians who don't go to live shows or listen to music. i don't understand writers who don't read. i don't understand artists who don't enjoy art. i know these people, but i do not understand them.
and, admittedly, i'm judgy of them because it seems snooty to me. how can you think that you have nothing to learn from others who are doing the same thing you are on some level? that you're the be all and end all? how can your music, writing, art, etc. grow if you limit your perspective so much? how can you NOT find something to appreciate?

*tangent start*
ten years ago i dated a musician who didn't go to live shows of current musicians, who didn't listen to other current music. he wouldn't go see or listen to anyone who started making music during or after he started making music because "they're doing the same thing as i am" (his words, not mine) it took all i had not to say, "yeah, well, they're playing to *insert any number here* people every night and you're not. you don't think you might have something to learn from them? you don't think there's something to appreciate about that?" i had to keep the peace somehow, right? sensitive guy joes, those musicians. he wasn't very good then and something tells me he isn't very good now.
besides, he made me go see the cure. and i didn't like the cure to begin with, but seeing robert smith blown up into a large sad clown with bad makeup and scraggly, electrified hair only made me pity him, not appreciate him.
*tangent end*

but tom waits? tom waits goes to live shows. tom waits is geeky enough about music that he'll call up his "people" and say, "how do i get to talk to _______?"
and then it happens.
and then he writes about it.
in mojo.
and it's awesome.
as a matter of fact, the first line in the article i just read (thanks meg) is, "i first saw hank iii maybe two years ago..." implying that he's seen hank iii live more than once!


it is my dream that one day i will have some kind of mystical sway and that i will have "people" that i can "call" and say "how do i get to talk to tom waits?" so we can geek out together about music and books and everything.
and then it'll happen.
and then i'll write about it.
it won't show up anywhere. except, maybe, here.
and then he'll write about it.
in mojo.
and it will be incredibly surreal and awesome.

i think i'm just going to use awesome one more time in this post.


Friday, October 22, 2010


from one "professional" to... all you out there.
if you intend to purchase a home or refinance your current home, do everyone involved in the process a favor:

do NOT send double-sided copies of the information we request, you patchouli-doused hippies. this does NOT save trees. you know why? because we just make copies of the other sides and VOILA! another tree dead.
as well, do not provide items that are STAPLED. nonono. we're smart and can figure out when one bank statement ends and another begins. we remove the staples anyway. and if we miss one, it totally fucks up the endless copying we have to do.

we understand that you do this out of the kindness of your heart, thinking that it helps us and/or the precious "environment".
that's very nice of you.
but when you do this we totally call you nasty names behind your back and curse the horse you rode in on.
just letting you know.

Friday, October 15, 2010


"what does a double jamesons run here?"
"five (shown with her delicate hand, each digit splayed)"
"three shots please." as i lay my id and the twenty dollar bill flat on the mahogany
she brings the three double shots over, examines my id and takes the cash
"do you want to ope..." "wait"
"i don't need anything back. keep it"
first shot goes down. deep and sweet
"are you su.."
halfway through the second shot...
"please. keep it."

"rough day?"
"understatement." as i pick up the third
the third is gone and i leave the cellar. 1/3 of the people who saw me come in are watching me leave

i feel it pouring down my esophagus. warm and tingly, as i round onto overton
i feel it warming me on my left
then on my right

in my tummy now - as i head home in the chill
so warm and comforting
it's in my intestines now
as i step into my apartment
i can feel the comforting tingle in my toes
as i crack open another oatmeal creme pie
"mmmm.... whiskey. you make everything ... almost... livable."

Thursday, October 14, 2010


the hard way that there is an enormously ravenous divide between "will do" and "want to".

only sometimes is there an imperceptible and highly-precarious bridge between the two.

too bad it can't be as fun as "3 the hard way" (HA!) or even "7 the hard way".(OUCH!)

Saturday, October 9, 2010


i choose to think about the rain as iocaine powder: with exposure to small doses and gradual increases, i will eventually build up an immunity.

Friday, October 1, 2010

i'm just going to say it:

going out by yourself is RIDICULOUSLY LAME.

for years now i've done almost all my "socializing" (i use that term extremely loosely) by going out by myself - not going out alone to meet up with people, but...

going. out. alone. full stop.
no one to dance with, no one to laugh with, no one to talk to, no one to observe other people with, no one to share awesome rad new bands with. you get the picture.
oh, and you're also that chick that people look at with pity because you're alone, but they don't pity your situation enough to want to talk to you. i get those looks EVERYDAY.

over the years i've kept my chin up about it. i tell everyone "it's all good, i LIKE doing things on my own". which was true at one time. and which is still true SOMETIMES. but doing things alone is so much more rad when you have the option of going with someone else. you savor the time alone more.
sweetly supportive people in couple units try their best to grin and say "that's great that you can do that!" while inwardly thinking, "gee, that sucks." and they're right. it sucks limey donkey balls.

i'm so over this. it has just gotten worse with time, not better. i do this to myself and i wish i knew how to stop.

joel plaskett radness couldn't even get me out of this funk, so i'm pulling out the big guns: "the incredible mr. limpet". this better work.