a random text thread

some poor punter from Kentucky texted me randomly this morning. here's the transcript (all spelling and punctuation kept the same for continuity sake):

KY: Who's this?

me: Perhaps you should look in a mirror and ask yourself that. I can't tell you who you are.

KY: Thats cute......then why don't you tell me your name and mine as well

me: Apparently my label is "cute". But I couldn't tell you yours as I'm not really into limiting a person or idea by naming it.

KY: Hahaha I didn't say you were cute it was sarcasm for wat you said. But when are you going to give me a name....??(I don't know how to type upside down question marks, but there are 2)

me: I already said I don't limit things by naming them. So I won't give you one, but you're welcome to give one to yourself.

KY: I already no my name but you have a name you were given so wat do your friends call you

me: Oh many things: Hey you. Oh gracious, serene and beautiful one. Dude. You know, the usual.

KY: Well wats the name your parents gave you

me: "are you sure we brought the right kid home from the hospital?" I know its long, but its what's on the birth certificate. People call me "kid".

KY: Lol smh so when are you gunna stop giving me the run around in tell me your name

me: I just did. Kid.

KY: Ok well tell me how you got my number

me: You're the one who texted me. So I should be asking that question of you.

KY: No you texted me first saying.... I hope so.I don't what to have to start all over again. Again.

me: Hm... Nope. I didn't send that to you. Or to anyone.

KY: Well that's wat my phone is showing

me: I think your phone has mutinied and is lying to you.

KY: Lol chill out...but wat school to you go to then

me: I go to the school of hard knocks. Where do you go?

KY: Can I get a real answer though

me: That is the real answer.

KY: In where is that located at

me: There are several campuses worldwide.

KY: In how does this so called school work

me: It utilizes aversion therapy to educate.

KY: Mhmm I see...in how old are you

me: Old enough to know better, young enough to keep on doing it. Often.

KY: Why don't you give straight up answers

me: Like Paula Abdul answers? Last time I checked she was heavily medicated. I wouldn't trust her answers.

KY: Do you act like this to all the people you text

me: I act like this to all of the strange people who text me, yes.

KY: O I see

i think i'm losing my mind.

i got up this morning, went thought my usual routine - doing the same thing i do everyday. i look down at my bedside lamp, the lamp i've had next to my bed for at least 5 years and saw this:



now, let me give you a close-up (its a little blurry because i'm not a good photographer):



that is a sticker. of a fish. of a cartoon fish. of flounder from "the little mermaid" (affectionately known as "the little turdmaid" in my house). on my lamp.

WHERE THE HELL DID IT COME FROM??? and why haven't i noticed it until now? do i have the ghost of a 6 year old girl in my room who wanted me to know that she was thinking about me? maybe. that would be a nice thought. but until i know, i'm slightly skeeved.

there a bit of the randomness that goes on in my life. daily. it's scary.

swimming stream of consciousness

sweet! no ones here, wakeywakey, mystery dance, elvis costello rocks, lip service, living in paradise, flip turn, drinking with friends that hasn't happened yet, replacement killers, chow yun fat - he was so handsome why'd he let himself get old?, john woo, the big hit, mark wahlberg CAN be funny - geez he takes himself so seriously, people in town, how did it become like high school again?, flip turn, no wonder i don't want to go out, apple burp, tom waits, wiant, fred van vactor, kangaroo lake, ian moore, mac - i hope she comes back healed so we can skate, i should just try the skating on my own, flip turn, wheels and i don't mix, FLIP TURN!, ow, chamois, shorts, flying, stroke, running away, pull, did i just bounce off the wall?, michael jackson, he's awesome and all but i'm over hearing him everywhere, michael vick, this should be interesting.

RANDOM... randomness

about a year ago, i worked for a company where their corporate headquarters were in tulsa, but i worked in a branch in austin. everything was in tulsa including tech support. and since i was the most tech savvy one there (which should tell you everything you need to know) i got on pretty good terms with the tech dude living in tulsa. hell, everywhere i go i get on great terms with the tech dudes.
nerds are SO easy.

well, it got to a point, since i'm a HUGE tease (ha!), where he just randomly started sending me... uhm... stuff. like pictures and stuff and stuff that I DID NOT ASK FOR. and it wasn't pretty. and it was a little freaky. but HILARIOUS. i was torn as to how to feel about this because i couldn't stop laughing.
example: he sent a picture where he's outside, naked, standing in a tunnel. and it's obvious that someone else took this picture for him. it was like a school portrait, but he was naked. and had a "third leg". well, i couldn't tell if it was really that big or if it was an optical illusion because he was so short. and there is nothing attractive about this dude. and it was all just kind of grossly funny. and i kind of just left it - no encouragement, no nothing.

WELL, today, for whatever reason, he just popped up on my im and started talking. RANDOM. i really hope he doesn't start up where he left off. i'm even slightly uncomfortable with the idea of talking to him again. because he thinks that, were we to meet in person, "something" would happen. which it wouldn't. EVER. and i'm really bad at letting people down.

WEIRD!

the marketers have found my weakness

we all know how marketing people are paid to figure out what words trigger the buying impulse in mass consumers and then stick those words in bright, large print on the front of their product, right?
you know - most of the time they're as simple as: "new!" or "your child won't choke on this!" or "anti-bacterial!" or "chocolate!"

i've never though of myself as one of those people who buys into that stuff. i really think it because i'm just not a shopper at heart.
but this afternoon when i went to target in search of plant food (i really want my bush to flower - ha!), the marketers got me. BIG TIME.



that's right. this plant food is made with liquefied worm POOP. i had to buy it. i give major kudos to anyone who is ballsy enough to put "poop" on the front of their packaging. anyone who is ballsy enough to make it their major selling point.
initially i thought, "it says 'liquefied worm poop', i have to get this!" but on the way home i asked myself, did i really need the "liquefied" or "worm" part? nope.

it was the "poop" that sold me. i'm now on the look-out for anything that uses "poop" on it's actual product to sell it. not "excrement" not "waste" not "droppings" but "POOP". say it loud and say it proud.

it'll sell me even more if it works and my bush of black-eyed susans actually blooms.

neglect

i'm not neglecting you my darling blog. i know i'm the only one that i read you, but i'm in norcal and will write to you about all the radness and the best valentine's day ever when i get home.