why haven't i read this before? how does this guy know how to put into words how i feel about LIFE (as cheeseily dramatic as it sounds)??
"... it's as though one had actually died and actually been resurrected again; one lives a supernormal life, like the chinese. that is to say, one is unnaturally gay, unnaturally healthy, unnaturally indifferent. the tragic sense is gone...
loneliness is abolished, because all values, your own included, are destroyed. sympathy alone flourishes, but it's not a human sympathy, a limited sympathy - it is something monstrous and evil. you care so little that you can afford to sacrifice yourself for anything or anybody. at the same time your interest, your curiosity, develops at an outrageous pace."
its always been hard for me to get across to people how i feel about how i live my life in general and this NAILS IT ON THE HEAD. i'm not saying its for everyone and i'm not saying its necessarily even good for me - the explanation may seem a little harsh, but it's honest and aptly descriptive. that's how i'd explain it now. the underlined parts most.