Friday, October 9, 2009

grandmas

grandmas, mimis, granmamas, nanas, etc. have a really weird and very distinctive smell. i smelled it again today and it was super strong. strong enough for me to FINALLY pinpoint the mixtures of smells that make this uniquely grandma scent:

3 parts old person
4 parts menthol-y cream - bengay, aspercream, tiger balm - you choose
millions of parts powder. loose loose powder
1 part polident
1 part sink bath
2 parts coral-colored lipstick
3/4 parts musty old church smell

they should bottle this and sell it to the ladies at the nursing homes. maybe if enough of them doused themselves in it, it would disguise the odor of death, urine, decay and defeatism.

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