"actors/acting"

i know that i bash on the actors and actresses that i don't like mainly becuase they play the same person in every movie and that person is usually themselves. tom cruise is my favorite example. that dude plays an asshole in every movie he's in and something tells me he's probably an asshole in real life.

tonight, i saw "up in the air" with george clooney. george clooney is another one of those actors that plays the same guy in every movie - this film is no exception - so i was compelled to think of why it is that george has not incurred my actor wrath. i don't feel one way or another about him, i've seen some of his films, i still remember him fondly from "facts of life" and what not, but i don't have a strong yen for him in a positive or negative way.
in my comtemplation, i realized that i'm ok with george clooney playing the same dude in every movie - playing himself in every movie - because he's NOT an asshole. he's totally honest about who he is as a person and as an actor and in how he lives his life and he doesn't try to be anything else (seemingly). and something tells me that he's probably a pretty rad fella in real life. thus, he's ok in my book with playing the same role in every film he's in.

"up in the air" - very good movie. it just reiterates what we all already know anyway, but against an applicable to today's issues backdrop and in a nice way.

that's all i wanted to say about that.

ps - the shepherds pie at the alamo is GOOD. and they give you a lot of it.

seriously??

of all the assholes i work for, one of them, for christmas, brings me a gift that truly shows me that she don't know me at all:

a white leopard-print scarf

what? should i say that again to make sure you caught that?

a

WHITE

LEOPARD-PRINT

SCARF.

i don't think i need to expound any further on this.

finding the hilarity at work

because there's really nothing fun or funny about what i do.

so, i had to verify employment for a borrower who works for the texas beef council (because texas NEEDS a beef council) and their hold music is their radio commercials. as i'm waiting for someone to answer my call, i hear willie nelson pushing beef. or i hear kris kristofferson pushing beef. or, the funniest one of all, hearing george w. pushing beef, like it was your patriotic duty to eat beef.

ah, meat. it's what's for dinner.

question

should i be surprised that i made more cash selling my books and cds than i did selling every other saleable thing i own (bar my car)?

dear tall 'n' cute newish checker at the hipster mart:

i see you totally light up when i walk in for my nightly pomegranate sweet leaf green tea. you are REALLY good at flirting with me and have pretty twinkly blue eyes. i see you hastily ring through the 3 people in front of me in the checkout line so you can flirt with me some more and then continue to talk to me as i walk through the door to leave. it's all very sweet.

i wonder if your extreme height - seriously, how tall ARE you?? - makes you less... nonchalant? blase? dispassionate?... than the other hipsters at the hipster mart.

too bad you didn't start flirting with me before. we should make-out sometime.

sweet leaf and jose ole!

pixy

thinking

i don't think anyone will ever be able to give me an acceptable and satisfactory explanation as to why jon dee graham isn't one of the biggest things out there. that dude is SO FUCKING amazing at what he does.

people are idiots.

i found another "poop" product!!

chicken poop!!

i want to buy it all! AWESOME.

list musings

item completed: barbecue in lockhart, tx.
dealer of choice: black's barbecue

black's was a recommendation from a native born texan who got all kinds of excited that i wanted to go have barbecue in lockhart, the capital of barbecue in the state of barbecue - texas. and, let me just say, THEY WERE RIGHT.

lockhart is about 35 miles south and a teensy bit west of austin on state highways. lots of nothing exists between austin and lockhart. except billboards. about barbecue. just before you hit the lockhart "city" limit, there are about 14 billboards for black's barbecue ALONE which indicated to me that this is probably going to be some huge hall o' barbecue. i got into town, turned right at the yellow arrow and turned right again at the THREE other yellow arrows and on the corner stood this little storefront on the end of a row of town buildings.
you enter and walk inside a narrow corridor to another door which leads you to the food. before you walk in the 2nd door, there's a hand-written poster explaining how things work here at black's. because barbecue needs explaining. as you enter an even narrower aisle, you become surrounded by food. sides of green beans, potatoes 3 ways, macaroni salad, beans 2 ways, mac and cheese, rolls - you name the side, they've got it. you help yourself and then you're eventually pushed along to the meat. the delicious, loverly meat. you can get a meat sammich. you can get ribs, turkey, chicken, brisket... or brisket... or, how about some BRISKET? because what else do you go to barbecue for in texas? my mouth is watering as the super friendly meat cutter asks me what i've got a hankerin' for and i say "surprise me, but cut some of the fat off that brisket first." and they do. without giving the newbie a mean face. i pay, i get a drink and i sit down at the 1 long row of tables in the middle of the very small room. it's MAYBE 1000 sq. ft. total, including where you get in line with your food. i grab some sauce and i go to town.
this meat is the most tender, juicy, delicious meat i've ever put in my mouth. you read that right jim's cheesesteak! and that one kaw... uhm... yeah, better than all of you! and the sauce... the sauce is PERFECT. too many barbecue places make their sauces spicy for "kick" but i've only found that to be a deterrent from the taste of the whole meal. the spice overwhelms and you can't taste anything else - what's the point? not this sauce. this sauce is smoky with a hint of sweet. so. much. smoke. i want to eat that sauce on everything - meat, waffles, cereal, pickles, ANYTHING. and it compliments the meat so well. i can't even talk about it anymore.

so, to sum up: black's is the barbecue place to go in lockhart. small, extremely friendly staff, rad atmosphere and incredible barbecue. i smelled like smoky delicious barbecue for hours afterward. i wanted to eat me.

delicious and nutritious.

why?

on tuesday night, i didn't feel like cooking and had a hankering for cookies and hummus - not together. i went to the hipster mart, picked up some cookie dough and wheat thins and hummus and gorged myself.
man, did i feel like SHIT after that!
i went to sleep and woke up still feeling like crap and and the opposite of hungry. as a matter of fact, i would have been ok if i'd never eaten again... for that day at least. so,i decided to do a water-only fast. i did a SHIT TON of research on it yesterday and, apparently, gorging oneself on cookies and wheat thins and hummus and peanut m&ms and chai lattes the day before said fast is NOT the way to prepare for a water only fast. YOU COULD HAVE FOOLED ME.
i was fine with this venture - even thinking of doing it for an extended period of time - there are people out there who do 40 day water fasts! WHAT?! i tossed out all the rest of the cookies, the hummus, the remaining few wheat thins and anything in my fridge that could go bad. i was inspired and energized by this new challange. that was... until about 6pm. then my gums and teeth started aching like no body's business and that make my head want to explode. so, i watched "cabaret". because what else do you do when you want nothing more than to chop your own head off and throw it in the lake? at the end of "cabaret" my head and teeth did not feel any better. so i read for about 90 minutes and then went to sleep.
i woke up feeling EVEN SHITTIER (nausea - yick) but not hungry (surprisingly) so i had some water and went to the HEB to get some superfoods juice and food since i tossed out all my food the day before. it took all i had not to throw up in that grocery store. i got home, drank some of the juicy juice, threw up a little and still felt like crap. then i went and did what made me feel better, but no one likes to hear about, so i'll just let your imagination take you where you'd like with that one. but now i feel AWESOME!
my water-only fast lasted only 1 day. but i realized a few things along the way. 1: i've gotten lazy with my eating and food preparation. 2: i'm going to do a 1 day fast per week - i think it's going to motivate me to eat better during the week so i don't feel so shitty on that day that i do fast. 3: i will eventually do a 30 or 40 day water only fast, just to see what's up, you know?
so, i went without food for 36 hours and that's that.

why did i do it? because i felt like shit one day because of eating and i didn't want to feel like shit anymore. it'll stay in my mind as something to try just so i know that i'm able to do it. :)

i'm such a geek

for the red-headed boys.

david wenham is seriously fucking adorable and i wan to do very very bad things with him. and he was just in my bed, via netflix online, as a seriously brainy and tricky fractal geometry genius. all the terminology... i just can't control myself. it's like having scientists talk all sciency to me.

RAWR.

observation

i use "weird" FAR too much in my posts.

i'm going to make a concerted effort to reduce the amount of "weird".

running list

for the month-long good-bye i've got to say to austin:

- a wednesday night at flips with mte and southpaw
- a sunday night at the saxon with what's left of "the resentments" - completed 11/22
- a wednesday night at the continental with jon dee and james mcmurtry
- a thursday night at lucky lounge with ian maclagan
- a wednesday night at the broken spoke with dale watson
- a movie or 40 at the alamo
- sangria margaritas at el chile
- deluxe chicken enchiladas with deluxe tomatillo sauce at chuy's
- rudy's bbq
- a trip to lockhart for bbq - completed 11/28
- lots of amy's ice cream
- homeslice - i might fit that in with the wednesday night at the continental
- a burger and a game at the tavern
- take a bath in sweet leaf pomegranate green tea
- a michael jackson cupcake
- an "art fair" weekend in gruene
- a show at gruene hall - maybe reckless kelly
- more...

**more - so much music going on in the next month and a half!:
- continental club:
- 11/19 - ian moore
- 12/1 - david garza
- 12/3 - chili cold blood
- 12/7 - beginning of "crybear" residency at the gallery (free) and crybear is david garza
- all of december - alejandro escovedo tuesday night residency
- other:
- 11/18 - kevin devine @ emos
- 11/24 - neko case @ antones
- 12/4 & 5 - the mother hips @ emos

WHAT?!

i'm sure i'll be adding to this list as time goes on...

i can't believe i almost forgot - a hey cupcake! cupcake. probably a michael jackson. how do you write a drool sound?

SO angry!

i don't even know why i'm still SO angry at this person. i've resolved that they're a lazy retard who insists on fucking my stuff up, but i'm STILL mad!

i'm usually ok at resolving and moving on, but not this one. i want to beat her senseless with a meat hammer and drag her bloody body around the office by her hair so that everyone knows what happens when you needlessly piss me off.

GAH!

dream

so i dreamt last night that i was a "kept woman" by some super rich dude that lived behind a hospital.
i remember swinging outside of a window of a very tall building, suspended from a helicopter and the dude's assistant was with me, then we had to go away from the building because we were in restricted air-space and then we were just hanging out in mid-air in the middle of nothing suspended by this helicopter. i was only mildly scared which is weird for me.
i remember going to super rich dude's office and finding him in a meeting, so i went down to the lunch room where everyone else was and they had weird tvs and games and stuff down there. when i was down there, it was like everyone knew but didn't know who i was. weird.
i lastly remember walking up and down the parking structure of the hospital in front of super rich dude's house and telling security that i could go up to a restricted part of the structure because that was the way i came in and that was the only way for me to get out and, while i was heading up there, judith light - the mom from "who's the boss" - was coming out of the hospital with a lot of paparazzi following her and she was coming up the restricted way that i was in. i looked in front of me and there was a whole buffet of food and booze that judith light's friends were chowing down on, waiting for her.

i dream funny things.

i want

the body of someone who is taller than me and who can squeeze me harder than i can squeeze them here. now. i need to hug some of this shit out. really badly.

observation

my appendix scar has a muffin top.

just thought that was worth sharing.

so...

i wrote a verse. to a song. last night. and there were other words floating around it, but there is most definitely a solidified song verse there. and music. but i don't know how to make it.

it's kind of weird. i'm not sure what it feels like. maybe like the first acupuncture needle? maybe i need to wait til it's all done? maybe it'll feel like writing a song and there's nothing else that feels like that?

weird.

maybe I didn't write it. maybe someone inhabiting my body did it.

perfection

"to love or be loved is no crime. the really criminal thing is to make a person believe that he or she is the only one you could ever love."

henry miller

the perfect combination

i think i've found the perfect (for me) lebowski combination:

- xanax - since i don't have pot, this is a perfectly acceptable substitute
- pizza rolls
- beer

blissful.

whoa

i never thought robert mitchum could get sexier, but he just did... australian accent and salacious language with deborah kerr... that's how.

rawr!