"I heard the news today, oh boy..."
I don't know where to begin, so i'll just jump in the middle and see where this goes. I can't begin to imagine how hard the last few years have been for you: being an amazing, beautiful, vibrant, active light of a woman physically and mentally degenerating so rapidly, without definition, without an answer, without a way to help yourself or for anyone else to help you. Seeing your strength and beauty evolve into a wholly different kind of beauty and strength over that time and through those trials was a sad but touching privilege for me.
Knowing you and the kind of person you were, it had to have been a tough hit to your independence, what you felt to be your essence, to have this trial put upon you so suddenly and seemingly without cause. But the grace with which you handled it and continued to live your life without compromise is inspiring.
While this won't be a popular opinion, I feel like you truly encompassed that grace and uncompromising attitude with your final decision. Your light and loveliness will be sorely missed by all who knew you and we are all devastated for your family's loss, however I am proud that you empowered yourself, finally, in what had to be the only way you knew how. Made this last act yours when it felt like everything else in you was being taken by forces beyond your control. In my opinion, that was a very brave thing to do - to live for yourself one last time.
I just needed to say that for you, for me. I'll never be angry that you made that decision. In being paralyzed by your situation in every way imaginable, you found the power and energy to take action. To take the only action that you felt was left at your disposal to make you feel better and I can't, in good consciousness, ever be mad about that.
I love you Mac and will miss you dearly. You'll always have a place of honor in my heart.