texting is fun

blahblahblah talking about a steakhouse and the meat they serve (mmm... venison):

other person (op): that's funny, i just realized that i had pinned you for a vegetarian

me: really?? i like meat far too much to be vegetarian. it's the same reason i couldn't be lesbian.

op: i think i'm falling in love with you. or that's what my dick keeps telling me...

me: your dick doesn't even know me yet.

i love boys.

thinking

it's pretty disgusting that i can hear a song on the radio that i've only heard live one time by a band i don't know (the first time i saw or heard of them was the time i heard this song) and say "hay! that's airborne toxic event!" and be correct.

what's even worse: i can name a majority of the songs i hear in my car within the first 3 seconds of that song - even if those 3 seconds are a drummer count off or a single note or a random sound.

why can't my powers be used for something useful?

thinking

i think i may just go visit butterflies this weekend.

swimming

was weirdly hard this morning. i'm still not awake either. i'm sure that had something to do with it.

thinking

peanut butter m&ms might be the greatest invention ever. less unwrapping than a peanut butter cup. compact.

delicious.

dammit!

why does my town make me choose between clem snide and robyn hitchcock?!? i need to be the entertainment planning commissioner for austin music so that we never have to make our citizens make these hard decisions!

thinking

burt lancaster is a handsome and hairy man, but he's no pirate. not like errol flynn or tyrone power.

the marketers have found my weakness

we all know how marketing people are paid to figure out what words trigger the buying impulse in mass consumers and then stick those words in bright, large print on the front of their product, right?
you know - most of the time they're as simple as: "new!" or "your child won't choke on this!" or "anti-bacterial!" or "chocolate!"

i've never though of myself as one of those people who buys into that stuff. i really think it because i'm just not a shopper at heart.
but this afternoon when i went to target in search of plant food (i really want my bush to flower - ha!), the marketers got me. BIG TIME.



that's right. this plant food is made with liquefied worm POOP. i had to buy it. i give major kudos to anyone who is ballsy enough to put "poop" on the front of their packaging. anyone who is ballsy enough to make it their major selling point.
initially i thought, "it says 'liquefied worm poop', i have to get this!" but on the way home i asked myself, did i really need the "liquefied" or "worm" part? nope.

it was the "poop" that sold me. i'm now on the look-out for anything that uses "poop" on it's actual product to sell it. not "excrement" not "waste" not "droppings" but "POOP". say it loud and say it proud.

it'll sell me even more if it works and my bush of black-eyed susans actually blooms.

swimming

i think i'm finding my swimming stride after only 6 months. :) i also think that we're on the cusp of moving up to 45 minutes (april 1 - no joke).

and i found i've taken to calling myself "mamma" when i have to remember something. "flip-turn mamma" "left-side mamma" where the hell did that come from?

thinking

i've now heard half of the new m. ward album thanks to kexp. maybe i should buy it. i really like what i've heard so far.
i like the tempo of his words on this one. slightly upbeat sunday morning music is my assessment without even hearing the album.

thinking

i just came to the realization that i watched the first movie i've ever seen that had absolutely NO women in it last night.

sahara! - a bogie movie without a dame?! there wasn't even an extra that was a chick. it worked.

swimming

i kicked muthafuckin' ASS at swimming this morning. its pretty disgusting. i'm learning that my body is a lot more durable and "bounce-backy" than i thought.

i also learned that it's kind of dangerous to let my mind wander to ally doing her errol flynn impression while swimming. laughing while your head is in the water isn't too smart.

wishing

sometimes i wish i could be as blissfully ignorant or unaware as someone who mails their actual photo ID in the mail.
how relaxing it must be to live in that brain.

wishing

that people would understand that being dramatic will get them nowhere with me. as a matter of fact, i'm less likely to help you if you bring the drama.

thinking

i love that i live in a place where my choices for shows on my birthday are colin gilmore or matt the electrician and southpaw jones or two-stepping to Jesse Dayton or LEONARD MUTHAFUCKIN' COHEN (if someone wants to buy me a hella expensive ticket).

i'm sure there are more, but those are pretty nifty choices.

thinking

errol flynn is such an elegant and handsome man. they don't make them like him anymore.

i love it...

when boys don't listen to me and think i'm a "challenge". it's so cute and makes me laugh.

but i'll never let them say i didn't warn them at the beginning.

swimming

!!! was swimming!! as in i did it for the first time in 2 weeks for real. i feel stupidly great physically. i just wish my brain would wake up. let's just let go of the daydreams, ok?

wondering

does it make me a slut if i text a guy to meet me at the broken spoke to "just two-step and fuck"?

does it make me more of one if he already told me he's a romantic and i just don't care?

i really do need an answer to that first question.

thinking

i'm not ready for real life to start again. can't i just be a hostess for rad people for the rest of my life?

let's make it happen.